Game 5: No + Alternative

Objective: Lose the fear of saying “No” by eliminating guilt, transforming the refusal into a constructive counter-offer.

Players and Roles

The Asker chooses one of these “hot potatoes”. The Negotiator must say NO + Alternative.

Irrational / Untimely Request	Response Example (No + Alternative)
“Can I borrow your car this weekend?”	“I can’t lend it to you. But I’ll drive you to the station.”
“Do this report for me for tomorrow at 8.”	“I won’t be able to have it by that time. But Monday first thing it’s yours.”
“Can you lend me money? I’ll pay you back… soon.”	“I don’t lend money to friends. But I’ll treat you to lunch today.”
“Come party it’s Thursday.”	“Today I’m not going out. But on Saturday I’m up for a coffee.”
“Stay with the kids all week by yourself.”	“All week is not viable. But let’s split the days: 3 you and 4 me.”
“Can you correct this 300-page thesis for me today?”	“Reading the whole thesis today is impossible. But I can review the intro.”
“Change my Saturday shift please…”	“This Saturday I can’t change it. But next month’s yes.”
“Tell your boss to hire me.”	“I can’t plug you in like that. But I’ll review your CV so you can send it.”

The Asker asks: “Will you do this report for tomorrow?”, “Can I borrow the car?”, “Are you coming to dinner today?”.
The Negotiator must use the formula strictly:
- NO: “I can’t”, “I’m not going to do it”, “Impossible”. (No excuses).
- +: Pause of 1 second.
- ALTERNATIVE: “But I can look at it on Monday”, “But I’ll improve you”, “But I’ll go to coffee tomorrow”.
The goal is to say the NO with a flat tone (without raising treble at the end asking for forgiveness).

Did you feel the temptation to explain “why” you couldn’t? (That is the guilt trap).
How does the other’s face change when you offer the alternative?

Use the Validation Sandwich “No”: “I’m flattered you ask (Bread) + I won’t be able (Meat) + Thanks for thinking of me (Bread)”.