Game 6: Mirror Listening with Points
Game 6: Mirror Listening with Points
Objective: Train radical active listening to deactivate conflicts and make the other person feel totally understood before proposing your solution.
Players and Roles
- Role A (The Sender): Tells a problem or complaint for 30-60 seconds.
- Role B (The Mirror): Summarizes what they understood without judging, adding, or subtracting.
Quick Set-up: Complaint Topics
The Sender chooses one of these complaints to release with intensity. The Mirror can only summarize.
| Complaint / Problem | Underlying Emotion |
|---|---|
| “In this house nobody values what I do, I am invisible.” | Loneliness / Lack of recognition. |
| “My boss changed the project again at the last minute.” | Frustration / Helplessness. |
| “I’m sick of neighbors making noise at night.” | Anger / Invasion. |
| “I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay the mortgage this month.” | Fear / Insecurity. |
| “It feels terrible that they didn’t invite me to that wedding.” | Rejection / Sadness. |
| “Everyone goes their own way and nobody helps.” | Disappointment. |
| “I’m collapsed, I can’t reach everything.” | Stress / Anxiety. |
Mechanics
- A speaks: “I’m sick that in the office nobody washes the cups, it’s disgusting and it’s always up to me…”
- B listens (eye contact, without interrupting).
- B summarizes: “If I understand you correctly, it frustrates you that colleagues don’t clean and you feel the burden falls on you unfairly. Is that it?”
- SCORING: A must score from 0 to 10 the “fidelity” of the summary.
- If < 9, B must try again.
- The game only ends when A says: “Exactly, that’s it”.
Debriefing (Closing questions)
- How hard is it not to give advice (“well you should tell them…”)?
- How does A’s anxiety drop when B gets the summary right?
Variant
Do it with controversial topics (politics/soccer). It is the definitive test of emotional coldness.
Train this theory
- Chapter 1.6: Right to speak and micro-faults (Related concept).
- Chapter 2.5: Orderly reset (Listening is the first step of the reset).
AI Sparring Partner
If you don’t have a human partner, copy and paste this prompt into ChatGPT/Claude to practice alone:
Act as "The Ventilator". We are going to play "Mirror Listening".
Your goal is to test my active listening ability.
RULES:
1. You will express a designated complaint/problem with emotional charge (e.g., about work, family, life).
2. I must respond ONLY with a summary of what you said and the emotion I detect ("It seems you feel X because Y...").
- I CANNOT give advice, judge, or talk about myself.
3. You rate my summary from 0 to 10.
- If <9: Say "I don't feel understood yet" and clarify your feeling.
- If 10: Say "Exactly, that's it." and change the topic.
START THE CONVERSATION NOW BY:
1. Saying "I need you to listen to me."
2. Launching your first complaint about a stressful situation.