Author’s Note

This book is not about dominating anyone.

It is about understanding how human interactions work when there is tension, disagreement, jokes that prick, uncomfortable silences, or boundaries that are not respected. It is about learning to move there with more clarity, more calm, and more dignity.

For years I consciously avoided anything related to “power”. It sounded dirty, manipulative, or incompatible with being a good person to me. Over time I understood that this renunciation did not make me more ethical; it made me less capable. Less capable of protecting boundaries, of ordering conversations, of caring for important relationships.

Power —understood as influence— is present everywhere: at home, at work, in groups, in informal conversations. Ignoring it does not eliminate it; it only makes others exercise it, sometimes clumsily or unfairly.

This book proposes a simple idea: exercise power consciously and ethically so that things work better, not to impose yourself or to win.

If what you are looking for are tricks to manipulate, intimidate, or get on top, this is not your book. If you are looking to speak more clearly, set boundaries without aggression, and participate in social games without losing yourself, probably yes.

— Mike