4.2 Anti-Interruption: My Voice is Respected

Learning Objective: Develop the ability to hold the floor when someone tries to cut you off, using an escalation of techniques from non-verbal to firm verbal.

Story

Mike is explaining an idea. Mid-sentence, Laura cuts him off: “Yes, but the important thing is…”

Mike doesn’t yield the mic. He keeps talking —[The Steamroll] technique— while slightly raising the volume and lifting his hand with open palm towards her. He maintains a fixed gaze. Laura, faced with the verbal and visual wall, shuts up.

Five minutes later, Laura tries again. This time Mike stops dead, looks at her for two seconds and says with calm: —Laura, [Soft Brake]: let me finish the idea and we’ll go with you. —And he resumes immediately, without waiting for permission.

But Laura insists a third time. Now Mike stops completely. Total silence falls in the room. —Laura, you have interrupted me three times. [Hard Limit]: I cannot explain like this. Please, wait your turn.

Dramatic pause. The message has sunk in. —Thanks. As I was saying…

Mike has defended his turn like a guard dog defends his house. Without biting, but barking clearly.

Deep Explanation

Being interrupted is the clearest sign of Low Status. If they interrupt you and you shut up, you accept that what the other has to say is more important than yours. People interrupt for two reasons:

1. Anxiety: They are afraid of forgetting their idea.
2. Dominance: They want to pee on your territory.

Your response must be graded. Don’t take out the bazooka (Level 3) for a mosquito (Level 1).

• The Steamroll: Simply don’t shut up. Keep talking. If you both speak at the same time, the one who stops first loses. Usually, if you maintain tone and rhythm, the interrupter gets tired after 3 seconds.
• The Stop Gesture: Accompanying the steamroll with a raised hand is very powerful. It is a biological traffic signal.

Remember: Finish your sentences. Even if no one listens. Finishing is a sign of self-discipline. Leaving sentences half-finished is a sign of a fragmented mind.

Synthesis of Key Ideas

• Interruption = Status Theft: Whoever interrupts successfully steals the group’s attention. Whoever resists the interruption demonstrates strength.
• Finishing the sentence: It is a habit of champions. Get used to putting the period, even if there is noise.
• Educating the group: If you defend your turn a couple of times, the group learns that with you they have to wait. You create a culture of respect.

Practical Examples

1. The “Enthusiastic” Interrupter (Cuts you off to agree)

• Situation: “Yes, yes, exactly! And also…”
• Action: Thank but brake.
• Phrase: “I’m glad you agree. [Brake] Let me finish the nuance because it is important.”
• Why it works: You validate their enthusiasm but retain the mic.

2. The Aggressive Interrupter (Cuts you off to attack)

• Situation: “That is nonsense…”
• Action: Firm stop.
• Phrase: “I haven’t finished. Listen to me first, criticize me later.”
• Why it works: You put a logical rule (first listen, then speak). It is hard to oppose that.

3. Manterruption (Men cutting women / Senior to Junior)

• Situation: Pure power dynamic.
• Action: Name the dynamic.
• Phrase: “One second, Peter. Ann/I was speaking. [Recovery] Ann, what were you saying about the budget?”
• Why it works: You act as an ally or self-ally. You make the turn theft visible.

Signs of Progress

1. You don’t shut up by reflex:
   • Do you keep talking? Your throat no longer closes automatically when it hears another voice. You have “verbal inertia”.
2. Guard hand:
   • Do you use the hand? Raising the palm becomes instinctive. It is your shield.
3. Earned respect:
   • Do you notice they look at you before speaking? They start looking for your eye contact to ask for way. You have earned the authority of the turn.

Common Mistakes

• Apologizing for speaking
  • It looks like this: “Sorry, it’s just that I was talking…”
  • Alternative: “I was talking.” (Without sorry).
• Accelerating to finish before they cut you off
  • It looks like this: Speaking like a machine gun out of fear.
  • Result: You seem scared.
  • Alternative: Slow down. If they cut you, deal with it. But don’t run.
• Getting very angry
  • It looks like this: “LET ME SPEAK DAMMIT!”
  • Result: You lose it (and the status).
  • Alternative: Coldness.

Conclusions

Your voice is your tool of influence. If you let them take it away, you are disarmed. Defending your turn is not bad manners; bad manners is interrupting. By protecting your space, you are teaching manners to the world.

Deliberate Practice

• Card: Game 2: Armored Turn + CPS.
• Why it helps: Ask a friend to try to cut you off actively while you tell a story. Practice the “Steamroll” (keep talking) and the Stop hand. It is fun and very useful.

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